Mop-Up RAW (Flashback: June 1997) 8.21.00
By Hyatte
Mop-Up RAW
Hi. I'm Chris and this is the first ever "Hyatte Bail Out" for 411... yes, once again I decide at the last minute to take a week off. No excuses this time. No car wrecks, no computer blowing up. It's just that I am dead tired and was not up for a marathon all night session. I talked to Widro, and he gave me the OK for this week... so lont as I don't make constant vacations a normal thing. I won't... I PROMISE. Remember, I went 6... 8... even 12 weeks straight at ScoopThis without a week off... afterIwasgonefor6qweeks) I CAN do it... it's just that I am totally burnt this week.
So, I thought as a special deal for the longtime readers out there, I would present... for the first time EVER... the very first Mop-Up EVER to appear online. In fact, it's the first thing I ever wrote!! You will NOT believe that what you are about to read is from the same Internet Hooligan you know today... I had NO balls, NO humor, NO attitude whatsoever. To be fair, it was my first column for the allmighty SCOOPS... I was as nervous as a Priest in a Boys Locker Room. If anything else, read it just to see what the state of wrestling was when I first joined SCOOPS. See Steve Austin just on the cusp his Rattlesnake career. See Vince McMahon as play by play man. See ECW's first cross promotional appearence on RAW. See Dennis Rodman on Nitro. See a Nitro that had everyone's attention. It'll be a bad trip down memory lane, courtesy of the biggest Loser on the Net in June of 1997.
Try to enjoy it... either for nostalgia's sake, or to see how much I have evolved in only two years... as pretty much all the other web guys stayed exactly the same. You might blow it off after a few lines, or you might be fascinated. I know I was.
Oh, this week's "And Another Thing" is ANOTHER re-post... this one is of "The Road", or "The Tully Article". It's easily one of the top tweo most popular AAT's I've ever done. I urge you to read it because A: It's good and B: It serves as a Primer for NEXT week's AAT... which will be the SEQUEL to "The Road"... and Tully Blanchard is nowhere to be found .
Okay, I'm going to go recharge. I thank Wids and Ashish for this, and I PROMISE... this will NOT be a constant deal. I'm good for about 8-10 columns before needing a break. This is just a small exception. I'll be back next week... Post Summerslam... Raven should show up, Regal might show up... and maybe WCW will fire a few people... I CAN'T miss next week.
Go Rudy...
F-You... I need a life too, bitch
and now, the FIRST Mop-Up
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The Tuesday Morning Mop-Up
(For those who missed the Monday Night Bloodbath)
Hello, my name is Chris Hyatte (no relation to Missy, hence the E). This is the Tuesday Morning Mop-Up, or just plain Mop-Up if you prefer, where I will give you everything you need to survive the week in case you happened to miss the Monday Night slugfest between RAW and Nitro (shame on you if you did), or in case you were flipping and missed something you just have to know, (ex: Did Steve Austin say "ass"?, Did Glacier get attacked again?).
Now if I understand things correctly, Scoops is updated every morning at around 5 or 6, and I send this in somewhere between 2 and 3. (I don't sleep, Insomnia rules man.) This means that you can have all the info you need on last night's action at the crack of dawn if you want. Pretty cool huh? I have an allegience to one of the big two, but it won't show here, both shows
will be trashed or praised accordingly. Opinions will be plentiful, but I don't make predictions, that's Al's job and quite frankly, the closest connection to the wrestling world I have is that I once cut the grass of THE UNPREDICTABLE JOHNNY RODZ!!!, but that was a long time ago. Now, I will do a bit more than tell you who won, and what angles were pushed, and I
won't do blow by blow accounts unless the situation warrants it. What I will do is give you some things that no one else covers, such as who got soaked with a beer, or if someone said something funny, in other words, the minor details.
Finally, at the end of the column I will have a meter comparing how many times Jim Ross (Good 'Ol JR to you and me) said the word(s?) "slobberknocker" to how many times someone on Nitro screamed, "MY GOD, DON'T GO TO COMMERCIAL NOW!!!" we'll see who gets the prize for most Unnecessary Hyperbole at the end of the year. So now you can relax, sip
your coffee, and stop kicking yourself for missing the most interesting night of the week, I got your back amigo (or amiga) You can thank me later...or better yet send me money!
RAW IS WAR (The Night of Familar Faces or How to put on a show without Sid,
Bret, or Shawn)
With many questions surrounding RAW tonight, tonight may have been one of the more eagerly anticipated shows in a while. Unfortunately, the night ended with more questions than answers.
-Opened with opening theme, then another nifty fireworks display Vince announced that the WWF had the "most enthusiastic fans in the world" then got right into the fight between Bret and Shawn, stating that Shawn would be out for 4-6 weeks with a re(?)injured knee and neck injuries, but Bret would be back in just a few days (what a surprise).
-Vince mentioned that at that time, they thought that Shawn was gone forever, but that may not be the case, obviously he isn't ready to close the lid on HBK in the WWF just yet. He also announced that a tag tournement will be held to decide who faces Steve Austin and a partner of his choice for the straps.
-As with most RAWs, Stone Cold Steve Austin came in to give an interview. Austin started off by telling Vince to "shut up" (always entertaining), then said that he didn't care who his partner was. Mankind comes on screen to offer his services and Austin politely declined, (the word "ass" was used quite a bit). Then Vince asked him to comment on his match with Pillman
later that night, (complete with footage from last weeks match which didn't happen along with Austin dropping Shamrock in the S.C. Stunner) before Austin could only manage to call Pillman a "raspy carcass", Vince managed to inform us that the Hart Foundation will be handcuffed around the ring. That led to Ken Shamrock coming to the ring (Austin: "I'll be damned, if it aint
the world's most dangerous man. You got dumped right on your little butt last week didn't you boy?") Shamrock challenged Austin to a match that night. Austin accepted and Shamrock introduced a new catchphrase sure to sweep the nation, he told Austin that it was time to "knuckle up!" catchy huh?
-Cashing in on the Stone Cold craze, the WWF advertised a new video of Stone Cold's greatest hits as it were. Uncensored of course.
-Pillman backstage is interviewed. Footage of Austin flushing Pillman's head in a toilet. Pillman promised pain, death, and the usual (only in wrestling) destruction of Steve Austin.
-The new Blackjacks vs Owen Hart and the Bulldog in the first round of the tag tourney. Both teams are interviewed beforehand and the only thing worth noting is that Barry Windham looks and sounds more like his father, Blackjack Mulligan every week. The match is quick and not too noteworthy except that Jim Ross mentioned that Owen was once the Blue Blazer (Owen
didn't want to ride on Bret's coattails, funny, now it's his career) and Vince mentioned that he hoped that Shawn Micheals will return to action soon. The match ended cleanly with a nice spin kick by Owen which led to a Bulldog roll up.
-cut to Paul Bearer and the Undertaker backstage. Footage of last week's show where Farooq canned the NOD and promised a new team to challenge the Undertaker and Ahmed. Paul Bearer did all the talking, bringing up the secret once again and not much else.
-Interview with Ken Shamrock backstage. Shamrock was as mad as Hell and wasn't taking it any more and again said it was time to "knuckle up" (just rolls off the tongue huh?)
-footage of last week's mini-battle between Mankind and HHH as HHH came to the ring to battle with Phineus Godwinn. Chyna showed a more aggressive side by shaking up a ring attendant who dared touch HHH's robe. Chyna continues to turn me on BTW. Chyna was kissed by Phineus when she climbed to the apron to distract him, but the smooch cost him the match as HHH jumped him from behind and Pedigreed his hillbilly ass. Chyna was visibly
disgusted with the whole affair. After the match, Henry O'Godwinn came to the ring, pushed Phineus around for losing, then looked at Vince and said, "This is all your fault McMahon!" To that, Vince said something that totally amazed me...he said, "I guess maybe everything is my fault these days." Possibly, that was the most honest thing the man has ever said in
his life.
-Cut to Farooq who promised that his new NOD will be bigger, better, badder,
and BLACKER than ever before.
-Sunny comes to the ring to introduce the first inter-promotional match ever on RAW. Paul Heyman joined for commentary, promises a bit of the Extreme.
-Gee, wonder who Sunny introduces?
-Well, she first introduces Brian Christopher, who looks A LOT like his dad. Then Sunny introduced Chris Candido (she even said, "no gimmicks needed"), who ALSO looks a lot like
Brian Christopher's father.
-Jim Ross reminded us that Candido was once Skip of the Body Donnas, but no one mentioned that Sunny was part of that troupe. The match didn't last long sadly, because when Vince asked Paul to comment on Brian Christopher, Paul said "You want me to shoot? Fine, Brian
Christopher is the son of Jerry "The King" Lawler and that the two don't acknowledge each other in Memphis. Lawler comes in, slaps Paul, and jumps Candido with Christopher and Rob Van Dam, who showed up.
-Tommy Dreamer showed up and cleaned house. The USWA crew bailed and the ECW crew were left in the ring.
-Interview with Ahmed..as intense as ever. Not much was said
-Goldust vs Jim Neidhardt- footage of the Goldust, Bulldog, Marlena affair from last week where Shamrock saved the day. More references to the American Dream Dusty Rhodes, typical match from these guys, Goldust (who looks like he's auditioning for a role in CATS) scores a win with a cradle following a badly missed uppercut that landed somewhere on the Anvil's shoulder.
-another talk with Austin, who promised to run through all the handcuffed Harts, then promised to "rock" the world that Shamrock invited him to step into
-recap of the last hours action followed by another nifty fireworks display
-Pillman and the rest of the Foundation (sans Bret) comes to the ring. Ross reminds us that Pillman and Austin were once the Hollywood Blondes.
-Everyone whines as they are handcuffed. Austin comes in with a big Sh!t eating grin on his face and takes a second to give the Bulldog and Owen the finger before hitting the ring. Pillman looks as if he lost the belly he had during his final weeks at WCW, in fact, he looks pretty damn good. Ross mentions that because of Austin, Pillman will no longer be known as "Flyin'
Brian" anymore. Austin chases him around the ring and gives each handcuffed man a beating for their troubles.
-Pillman also took a wicked chair shot which busted his nose wide open, (probably by accident, who would blade their nose for crying out loud?) For no apparent reason, Austin drops the ref with the Stunner, which allowed Owen to grab the handcuff keys and
unlock himself, and everyone else. Everyone jumps Austin, but Mankind, Shamrock, and Goldust clean house. Of course, Austin and Shamrock go at it, but is broken up by the LOD.
-Goldust grabs the mic and basically says (with a heavy Texas accent), "This is what they (the Hart Foundation) want. They want us fighting each other! Since they sent out a challenge to five of the best wrestlers in the WWF, why don't we accept it? After all, we ARE the best in the WWF, (an arguable topic to be sure). Austin grabbed the mic and agreed to the offer, pointing out that afterwards, all bets will be off.
-(Interesting note, Mankind wasn't around for this, he had chased Neidhardt
backstage long before.)
-cut to the Foundation who happily accepted the challenge...lots of closeups of Pillman's busted nose, (which wasn't that bad)
-Sable comes in to introduced a light heavyweight match between former partners (former Fantastiks of all teams) Bobby Fulton and Bobby Fulton.
-Fulton was brown haired (he used to be blonde), balding, chubby and as white as a ghost, (what the Hell happened to him?) Tommy Rogers looked built, young, and tanned, (ironically, Rogers used to be the weak link of the team's chain)
-Ross noted the titles they had (mid-south, NWA U.S belts) and the opponents they faced, (Sheepherders, Midnight Express). Rogers won quickly and rather easily.
-Marc Mero came out to get Sable. He didn't look to happy.
-The Headbangers vs Lawler and Rob Van Dam. Shot of Heyman and Dreamer in the crowd, looking mean. Van Dam looked great as did the 'bangers. Van Dam touched the ceiling with a HUGE top rope splash.
-Lawler started to taunt Dreamer and Heyman when the Sandman (no beer allowed in prime time) came out of nowhere and caned Lawler right in to nuts, making him an easy pin for the
'bangers. Rob Van Dam and Dreamer started to fight a bit, but it was broken up soon enough.
-Ahmed and the Undertaker vs the NOD. Farooq said that he kept his promises, then called out Kama (Thank God he didn't come as Papa Shango, as many have predicted) Mustapha. The match went along until Ahmed gave Paul Bearer a little Hell for getting in his face, leaving his corner deserted and setting up the Undertaker for a surprisingly easy pin. Ahmed chases off
the Nation and stayed in the ring with a fallen Undertaker as Farooq, D-Lo, and Kama walk off. Then, Ahmed helps the Undertaker up and then...well take a wild guess.
-Yes indeed, he Pearl River Plunged the dead man's ass and walked off to Farooq, then they all gave the NOD raised fist sign.
-Thus, Ahmed progresses along in his carrer and does what almost everyone else has done once or twice in their career. he turned heel. (one little note, Vince and Ross start ringing off possible candidates for the NOD, the names Butch Reed, Abdullah the Butcher, Mr Hughes, Hell... Jim Ross even brought up the Junkyard Dog, much to Vince's surprise)
-All in all..a not too exciting show, hurting from the lack of many stars (Bret, Sid, Shawn) but not terrible either. You didn't miss much. Let's move on to Nitro.
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